Second string-personal post

I have been up and down about a lot of things so far this year, if I were to lump all of the sub evil into one massive category I would call the heading “Second stringed”.  This is often how I feel, how others make me feel, how my brain interprets things, Etc.

To explain better; it is a feeling that EVERYONE else is better than me at EVERYTHING. As if my contribution, knowledge, experience is absolutely worthless compared to Person X.  As if I am the person that is the everyone hangs out with because they feel obligated or don’t want to make me sad.

My words have no meaning, my existence has no point. I should just drift through life only to fade away into a quiet obscure death.  A phantom.

I have tried hard to be positive over this year and had variable successes but over all it seems deep inside I am failing.

I hate even saying his because I feel as if it makes me seem weak, as if people will judge me or think that I am trying to get attention. I am not. I just feel as if I need to say this to get it off my chest.

Sitting on the bench




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