After much deliberation, I present an RPG That should not offend. It is free to use and open enough to embrace any story you want to tell.

We call shim Shimmies

People in PCRPG have fingerless boffer hands, and toeless boffer feet. Because of this, rude gestures are unknown to them, and were they to strike someone it would do no damage. Not that they would strike anyone, they have none of the following emotions; Anger, passion, sadness, or jealousy. Also a Shimmy has no hair, so people who have lost their hair won’t stand out. Their eyes and mouths are Xs, so they cannot be stereotyped by eye color or lip shape.

A couple of things. First of all this game has no rules, “rules” sounds too harsh, but there are a few guidelines.  

  • All characters shall use the pronoun “Shim”. Example “Shim and I go to the market.”
  • Your character must have a gender neutral name. Examples are; Alex, Chris,Pat,Jesse.
  • Gamemaster has slavery connotations, so instead we shall call the person running the game Friendly Fun Pal or FFP for short.
  • Your character has no listed attributes or skills, such things might make others feel less worthy.
  • When it is your turn you may roll any dice type you like (d4,d6,d8,d12, etc.) it doesn’t matter because,
  • A player always succeeds, so no one feels left out or gets upset.
  • If a thirteen is rolled the number is automatically shifted to twelve or fourteen, players choice.
  • The only dice colors allowed at the table are grey, white, black, in any combination(including pips or numbers).
  • You need no character sheet, just a this sketch.
  • No you cannot color in your shimmy, someone might get offended by your color choice.
  • Shimmies reproduce with gentle hugs which, after repeated hugging, causes a small shimmy to pop into existence.
  • Every time your character speaks they must end with either “please”, or “thank you” as appropriate.
  • If one shimmy does something all nearby shimmies will do the same thing, they are incapable of arguing, debating,  or disagreeing in any way.

4 responses to “A PCRPG

  1. I look forward to future expansions for this…as long as they are completely optional. But can we not call them Splatbooks since that has a connotation of violence, which some people may find offensive.


        • Certainly, but I could see some very compelling setting books coming from such an exciting new people. Imagine doing things like retelling “the Lord of the Rings” with shimmies. How awesome a story it would make once you remove all the icky evilness and all those thinly veiled racial slurs from it.


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