The Lime in the Coconut.

Confession time, around ninety percent of the RPG related things I read actually make me bored.  The other ten percent get me excited and make my brain work.

I don’t like it when games are discussed as though the characters are nothing more than tactical options.  I love hearing about the exploits of a young warrior striving to make his town safe, I don’t like hearing how your  “striker” used his super fart combo ability to defeat all foes in a three square area.  Tell me the tale of how your rogue got into Lord Doom Helmuts Temple of Odorous Wonder and stole the Sphincter Sapphire from his very hand.  Please spare me the tale of your Attacks of Opportunity.

In all seriousness I have read play reports that read like video game instructions on how to perform a combo move in a fighting game.  This transcends editions, games, or genres.  I hates it, so I don’t read it.  In all likelihood I will never read your blog, tweets, or other posts again.

I also don’t like flame wars or blatant disrespect for other players, one of the reasons I avoid online gaming in its many forms.  It’s one thing to have some friendly smack talk, but a whole other kettle of bone soup  to insult some random person on the net.

This is only about me, your tastes may of course vary wildly.  Personally I also dislike combat for combats sake.  No matter what thin candy shell of story is lovingly draped over its shoulders, a dungeon grind is still a dungeon grind,  (if that is how you roll, cool and peace be on you.) even if that dungeon is an abandoned warehouse or a starship. I have no problem getting into “The Do” if it is necessary to the character or story, but it shouldn’t be dropped into the story just to give the characters something to fight.  If it comes down to a fight, it should be over something that is important to the characters.   If the characters pass by a random Imperial guard squad, band of goblins, or whatever a fight shouldn’t automatically break out…. unless the goblins or whatever were to start hurling nasty comments about one of the characters physical traits or dubious parentage.  Give the PCs a reason to attack if you want them to, a personal reason.

Make it interesting, if you have a couple of gobbos that are integral to the scene then have them burp, scratch themselves, snicker to themselves… make one of them limp or have a cheesy mustache.  Killing cardboard enemies gets old after awhile.

We all have done our fair share of “dungeon” grinds in the day, but for me that day was over a decade ago.

I have vented, I am done….for now!  DUHDUHDUH DUHHHHNNN!


5 responses to “The Lime in the Coconut.

  1. @Gloria- when I actually tried to calculate a hard number the closest I could get was around fifteen years. 😛

    @Jason- Ya left just when you were getting super awesome.


  2. I totally agree. While I realize that there are camps of folks out there who enjoy mindless hack & slash dungeon crawls, they are not for me. I have no trouble with combat but I play or GM for the story.

    There’s a reason why “Raiders of the Lost Ark” is a better movie than “Super-Ninja Deathsquad Zombies” and I’m betting that it’s the story. Truth be told, aren’t we all drawn to these games because of the ability to have a say in the story, which we would not have while reading a book or watching a movie?

    Yes, there are a good number of folks for whom it is all about “kill monster, get treasure, get tougher, kill bigger monster, and get bigger treasure” and so on. I have no problem with fans of this; it’s just not my cup of tea. That type of scenario feels too much like an open-ended board game to me.

    Bottom line, for myself, the “R” in role-playing refers to the role I play and not the roll of the dice.


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